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Watson Cam
Dr Watson reviews his tab at the Hound and Ferret

Dr Watson reviews his tab at the Hound and Ferret

Posts Tagged ‘extraordinarily beautiful woman’

My Top 5 Extraordinarily Beautiful Women – No.2

No list of extraordinarily beautiful women would be complete without the enchanting Audrey Delacroix, known the world over as the Darling of the Trapeze (although there is an on-going trade mark challenge from Britain’s very own Marge Drooping.) Everywhere she went she brought with her that enigmatic Parisian smile, an air of understated class, and a 120-strong caravan of circus performers.

I first glimpsed her from afar when I volunteered to be a human plank in a routine involving some gymnasts and a fire-eater.

I was lying face up on the floor of the arena and there she was – high in the awnings of the tent, waiting to fly majestically across the arena. I sat up and gazed at her enchanting visage and at that moment I knew two things – one, that she must be mine, and two, that a gymnast was on fire next to me.

Audrey Delacroix - Darling of the Trapeze

Audrey Delacroix relaxes at home

I spoke with her on a number of occasions, using the excuse that Holmes was keen to interview her for a line of enquiry but after several visits to Baker Street with just me for company (dressed in my army uniform) she became suspicious – as did her strongman boyfriend, Serge DuPont, who professed a keen interest in the medical profession and talked with me at length about the implications of falling onto a railway line.

One morning I finally resolved to visit her at the circus and pour out my feelings but on arrival at the site the entire caravan had gone – and with it my hopes of capturing the extraordinarily beautiful Audrey Delacroix.

[As a footnote some readers will remember the later arrest of Serge DuPont over unpaid licence fees for his barbells following an anonymous tip-off.]


My Top 5 Extraordinarily Beautiful Women – No.5

No. 5 –  Lady Drew Barrymore.

Such a sweet and delicate demeanour as though spring flowers would part before her.  A wispish smile and a coquettish laugh were like lavender blowing in the breeze and her eyes glistened like the pearls caressing her fragile porcelain neck.

I gleaned all of this in the precious few seconds before she knocked me unconscious with a half-marrow. Turns out she was the infamous Basher of Bromley – I only survived a fatal blow by having thoughtlessly left my hat on when entering the house. [sighs] I can honestly say that I have yet to be hospitalised by a woman more beautiful.

The Basher of Bromley

Lady Drew Barrymore – flogged my bonce with a half-marrow